I Gave In

I'm wearing maternity clothes.
I bought black dress pants from Gap Outlet (I love the Outlet Mall). And I hung up the maternity shirts that I'm not drowning in.
I definately look more pregnant.
I don't like these style of shirts. The ones that cinch at the waist (tie in the back) and flow out past the hips. Empire Waist. Baby Doll shirts. (I know, Michelle, they look good on you!). But I feel fat in them.
I'm forcing myself to wear them because my sweaters are starting to creep up in the front and my dress shirts now have the "gape" (happens when your button down shirt is too tight around the bust). Now I have the "gape" at my Plus Size boobs and my belly!
My friend at work, Nissa, says people will start talking behind my back now: "Is Kelly pregnant or just letting herself go?" Hee Hee

Week 18: The Peeing Post

3:00 am: Woke up and HAD to go to the bathroom. No more water right before going to sleep

5:30 am: Alarm goes off. Head right to the bathroom

6:40 am: Should be leaving for work, have to pee instead.

7:45 am: Drop everything. Run to the bathroom to pee.

8:35 am: Here we go again. Pee pee pee

11:00 am: Please get off my bladder, baby. I have to pee again.


This is getting ridiculous. Its not a "I feel like I'm going to have to use the bathroom soon." It's a "if I don't get to the bathroom in the next minute, I'm going to have change my pants!"

17 Weeks: The Bulge

I am 17 weeks pregnant although most people still think I'm in my first trimester. I'm not showing too much and I'm fighting maternity clothes. I am wearing maternity jeans as my regular jeans won't button. But my dress pants will stay up unbuttoned, so no maternity clothes at work yet. I'm refusing to wear the obvious babydoll/empire waist maternity shirts. They look HUGE on me right now. I only have a little bulge. It feels rather large to me, but I don't think its very obvious to everyone that I'm pregnant. (Although one person at work asked me!)
The baby finally shifted and stopped pressing against my siatic nerve. So I'm going back on the treadmill (only to walk though. It's been too long since I jogged.)
I woke up at 3 am, starving. But I didn't eat anything. I'm not used to this eating all the time stuff. It's very unnatural to me. But when the baby is hungry, the baby is hungry.
Only a few more weeks until the ultrasound....


PICTURES COMING SOON

Anxiety

I don't know about this whole pregnancy thing. About having a baby. About being responsible for another life. Even now, before it is even born, my choices affect it. What I eat, what I do, what I don't do. I want my baby to be healthy and happy. So I try to make choices that will give it the best chance for that wish to come true. But if I do something, like a lift a 30 lb box or accidently eat feta cheese (I didn't know the salad came with it. I tried to pick off most of it), how will these small insignificant things affect my baby.
Do we have enough money to afford this baby? Daycare, diapers, formula (oh please, oh please let me breastfeed), and a countless other expenses that I'm not thinking of.
I'm a worrier. I worry about everything, but especially money and my family. This drives Richard nuts.


I can usually get myself out of a situation if I don't feel comfortable or I get scared. But I'm stuck. I'm pregnant. And there is only one way out. This baby is coming whether we are ready or not. Some days I'm ready, but most days I'm scared as all hell.
Not including how much we can fuck up this child with our parenting skills, but what genetic mishaps did we pass along to it. Will have the worst of us or the best? I guess we can only hope for the best part.
I thought getting married, bonding yourself to another person for the rest of your life, was scary.
This is much, much more frightening.

The Rules of Pregnancy

I had no idea there were so many rules and restrictions associated with being pregnant. My doctor, various pregnancy books, and friend who are or were pregnant have given me rules and restrictions for my pregnancy:

1. No drinking (duh!)
2. No smoking (of course!)
3. No caffeine (doctor says up to 2 oz a day is A-Okay though)
4. No fish or seafood (although tuna and salmon are suppose to fine according to pregnancy book)
5. No deli meat (doctor says there is no real evidence this causes harm)
6. No soft cheeses: feta, blue cheese, etc (not pasteurized)
7. No dying hair (chemicals leak in through your hair follicles. Although my sister the nurse and my doctor says this isn't true.)
8. No pumping gas (I have a very cautious friend)
9. No picking silverware or food off of floor (obviously I'm not going to use it or eat it, but I don't see why I can't pick it up to get rid of it!)
10. No sleeping on back or stomach (my hips hurt already)
11. No squats (my favorite exercise was vetoed by my doctor even though Fit Pregnancy shows squat exercises)
12. No lifting more than 25 lbs (Logger is my limit)
13. No cleaning cat litter box (YES!)

And the list goes on. This is what I could think of off the top of my head. Please add more if you know them.

Most of the rules are understandable and I agree with. But not pumping my own gas! No way. It isn't possible. What am I suppose to do on days when Richard is driving in South Dakota and my gas tank is empty (like today)? Full service pumps are few and far between.

BRRRRRRRR!

Forcast for the Twin Cities:

Today:
High temp: 4 degrees
Low temp: -11 degrees
Right now: 0
Feels like: -20 degrees

Saturday:
High: 0 degrees!
Low: -14 degrees

Kick-off at Packer Game on Sunday: -5 degrees!

16 Weeks: Fluttering

My stomach flutters, little butterflies flittering inside my belly. Then a quick jab above my pelvis. And then more tickling inside me.


My baby is moving.
It has fingernails and long legs (longer than its arms). And it kicks. But not strong enough to really feel it. Instead, it creates flutters.
It's a weird sensation. But it's exciting because its the baby moving. It is growing so fast and yet, I haven't grown too much.
A few people at work have commented they can tell I'm pregnant from the side. I have gained two pounds. And my sweaters and button down shirts are starting to get tight.
My memory is getting wonky too. A few people have said its the pregnancy. I'll set things down and forget where I set them.
Today was an all time low for wonkiness:
I made frozen waffles for breakfast this morning. After I put syrup on them, I stuffed them in the microwave to warm up a little. When I went to take them out, I opened the cabinet door next to the microwave instead of the microwave door! I did this twice!
I'm losing it.

I haven't been the best friend....

In ninth grade, Molly had a swim meet. In fact, she had several. I did not make it to a single one. Perhaps this is why we didn't speak for the next two years....
I never went to her forensic matches. I have concluded I was lazy in high school.
I DID go to the Vagina Monologues...TWICE!


Friday, Molly had a poetry reading. I made it a point to go (must make up for the missed swim meets! I feel a little guilty for missing them when we were 14).


Molly was understandably nervous. The regulars who attend these poetry readings are elderly, so Molly was a little apprehensive about some words in her poems. But Emily, Chris, and I convinced her not to edit her work. And no one flinched or gasped. It fit the poem and message.


And although she says she was nervous, her voice did not quiver, her hands did not shake, and her face was not flush. She read beautifully.
It's funny because when Emily was reading, her half hour seemed very long. But Molly's was over too quickly. I wanted more.


The response from the audience was very positive. They giggled at the right moments, teared up when appropriate. I think everyone really enjoyed her work.
I hope she has one again soon. I want to go.

Take a Guess!

I saw this on Michelle's friend Carrie's blog. Had to add it to my own blog.

Go on...take a guess.

Richard and I are going to find out if we're having a boy or girl. But I don't know if we're telling....

14 Weeks

I don't' think anyone can tell I'm pregnant, except for me. My stomach was fairly flat before (see my honeymoon post). I can't suck it in anymore. And my stomach is hard and a little bulbous. My pants are getting tighter (which is a terrible feeling - baby or no baby). I am not in maternity clothes yet.
I guess it is different for all women. I mean when they start to show. I know you show sooner with your second baby because your body doesn't have to rearrange organs. Once they rearrange to make room for a baby, they stay that way. (very strange).
I didn't gain any weight in my first trimester, nor did I lose any. I haven't been eating more than usual, just more often. And I'm trying to get some exercise on a daily basis. Although the stupid, stabbing, sharp pain in my tail bone (caused by my sciatic nerve) prevents me from doing my regular exercise routine.
Yesterday was the first day I was starving all day. I would eat a snack and an hour later, I felt like I hadn't eaten at all! It was frustrating because I'm not used to this. I really try to watch how much I eat. I actually had to buy a snack out of the vending machine! (I never buy food out of the vending machine). I came prepared today. Loaded with apples, apple chips, peanut butter sandwich, yogurt, and a fruit cup, I ate a little healthier. With the right snacks, I didn't feel nearly as hungry (although I still ate more than usual).
No cravings yet. My sister, the nurse, says I will crave what my body needs. If I'm low on iron, I'll probably crave a high iron food like spinach or (ACK!) meat. If I need Vitamin C, I'll crave lemons or oranges. I'll probably crave some weird combination of pickles and apple sauce (I used to mix them when I was kid!)
Next appointment is at 16 weeks. Only about a month away from finding out the sex of the baby (!).

Happy New Year!

2007 was a big year.
And it was an unusually happy year for Richard and me.


Highlights:


January 25: My nephew Jack Craig is born. He is welcomed by big brother Antonio!


March 17: Logger is adopted and becomes a member of our family!


April 21: Richard and I get married!! Except for a few people I had no control over, this was my dream wedding. It was 80 degrees outside in April..in Minnesota!! (average is high 50s!). Richard gave the most touching, impromptu speech. I cry just thinking about it.


April 25 - May 2: Honeymoon to Mexico! It was my first time outside the country. And Richard's first trip to the beach. We had so much fun!


May: Logger eats Aleve and is in the hospital for 2 days. Result: $2000 = healthy Logger (ok, one not so good memory, but it turned out well!)


August 11: Molly gets married! She was such a beautiful bride! Such a beautiful day! She looked so happy.


October 22: Richard and I find out I am pregnant! (and on Michelle's birthday!) We are so excited and have a hard time keeping it a secret.


December 17: We get to hear the baby's heartbeat! Strong and healthy. It's a beautiful sound. Richard remarks that is sounds like a CB radio! (my husband: the trucker!).

Overall, a very good year!
Our wedding brought Richard and his extended family closer together. We keep in contact with Aunts and Uncles Richard hasn't spoken to in years.
This weekend, we are going to the traditional family Lutefisk and Meatball get together. (yeah for me!)